


past tense.

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, and mark, another markren, anyway, bc I'm trash, but ren finds his way, i guess, i hate how this ship is underrated, i love renjun sm, i'll never stop, mark hurts ren, oh and jaemin and jeno are only mentioned, quite a happy ending, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 22:23:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11472876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: assuming doesn't do any good.





	past tense.

mark,

i  _thought_ you felt the same way. 

when you  _used_ to take me out for midnight snacks, just the two of us. when you used to buy me gifts that had the other boys whining about theirs. you gave me your science homework when i was struggling to understand the content. you took me out for ice cream every friday, 7:30 pm sharp. you loved chocolate, and i liked strawberry. we would order the same thing every time. when thunderstorms happen at night, i'd send you a text and you would assure me, saying my house was built to protect me from thunderstorms. sometimes you'd even call me and not go to sleep until you make sure i don't answer your questions. that's when you knew i was asleep and sound. you picked me up from my last class every single day, profusely apologizing when you missed a day because of your basketball practice. you'd treat me out to eat the next day, even if i refused and said it was fine, that i understood you were busy and not everything was about me all the time.

everyone _used_ to tease us and say we would make a cute couple, and that i'd take your name and i would be  _lee renjun._ you just laughed it off as if it wasn't a big deal, while i just sat there, face beet red. you'd look at me and laugh, you would pinch my cheek and tell me not to mind them. 

one night during a sleepover, side by side we had a serious talk. these serious talks were the rare ones. 

you told me how important i was in your life, how you couldn't survive without me, how you couldn't function properly without me. you told me how i was half of your heart, and without me your life would be a mess. you said i tamed you and that i was one of the best things that's ever happened in your life. 

you told me this while facing me, our faces inches apart, your face glowing despite the dark room. you always whined about your eyes and how they were  _so_ basic, that you wished you had mine which were big and glossy. however, your eyes looked absolutely beautiful to me that night, your eyelashes fluttering each time you blinked, and i had the urge to kiss you. god, was i so whipped.

but then you told me you were glad i was your  _best friend_ and that you wouldn't trade me for anyone else.

i didn't know if i was supposed to be happy or devastated. my hopes decreased, but it was still there.

however, you crushed me the next week when you told me you had a boyfriend. about how his name was na jaemin and how he made you smile until your cheekbones were hurting.

i didn't know what was wrong. was i not enough? was i really just nothing but your best friend? did you really have no idea that i liked you? that i was _in love_ with you? i couldn't believe that there was someone else making you that happy, possibly even more. 

you just told me i was half of your heart the last week; what happened, my love?

that week, i cried my heart out. i cried until donghyuck believed i would cry out blood. i didn't talk to you, not a word. read messages and even unopened ones. whenever you'd come over, chenle or jisung would tell you i was too busy or that you should try again next time. you were so confused and so frustrated, you gave up. i knew i was being selfish, but i was hurting. 

 _i_ believed  _you were the one, and that i would never meet a person that made me feel the same way you did. ever._

but i did.

i met him. jeno. he likes basketball and is athletic. he picks me up from lessons at the end of the day. he takes me out for ice cream every wednesdays, although he thinks chocolate is basic and prefers pistachio. he assures me during thunderstorms and talks to me until past midnight. he knows all about you, he was the one that healed me and helped me. he hugged me and took all my tears away. he made me smile a real smile again. 

now i believe jeno made me feel the same way you did, possibly even more. it made me realize how you weren't the only guy in the world, and that guys like him were there to pick up my broken heart, help me move on and start again.

he has your last name too. his last nameis  _lee_ , and we both agreed i'd take his name once we both marry each other. funny, right? who knew i'd still end up as  _lee renjun_?

oh yeah.

i saw you with jaemin after five long years. you were laughing and bickering, walking your cute husky, chocolate ice creams in hand and matching shoes. 

maybe, just maybe, i felt my heart ache just a little on the inside, deep within. 

anyway, i never got the chance to say this to you, but i love you.  _i loved you._

**Author's Note:**

> omg i love markren pls make this ship happen......... but noren's kinda getting there lmfao
> 
> ig : @ultsdnghyuck  
> twit : @dngshook


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